Alone
by hara-karikitty
Summary: Vegeta is getting increasingly frustrated with his ever growing feelings for Goku, will the prince make him see sense, or drive him further away? YAOI VEGExKAKA, SELF TORTURE. LIKE I SAID, YAOI!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer - I don't own Dragonball Z

Sorry if my writing is a bit off/rushed, I haven't written anything for a while.

Enjoy & review please, I'd like to know how much I need to improve right now

Thanks

_The tears ran down his face, he stood sobbing in front of the mirror, cursing himself for what he longed for. His sworn enemy, that man, of all the people in the world he chose the person he had loathed because of his power. How strange passion is._

_He had been drawn to that power over the years. He wanted the person he had made himself hate. He wanted to feel the power he had, wanted to share it and become one with not only the strength, but the person. Not just as a mate, as a lover. _

_Could a commoner __**be**__ a lover?_

Vegeta bent forward and dipped his hands into the bowl of water.

Cold.

He could have sworn he ran the hot water. A brief memory of dipping his fingers into the bowl and scolding the tips slightly swam before him.

"Tch, are you kidding me? I've been stood here long enough for the water to turn cold?"

Casting his swollen eyes towards the small window he observed the clouds hanging low and heavy with rain, their presence making it difficult to tell the time, let alone how long he had been stood in front of the mirror, weeping.

"Weeping?" Vegeta smirked, "I think it was more of a breakdown, I mean, look at me" He gestured at his reflection, pulling lightly at the puffy lids of his eyes, as much a result of tears as the lack of sleep he had been forcibly denying himself.

"And, I'm talking to myself. I need to sort out my head." He leant closer to the bowl of water this time, seeing his reflection caused him to lose momentary control over himself, the deep brown of his eyes causing anger to well up inside, he squeezed his eyes closed, seeing spots of red dance before him.

"Get it together."

Slapping himself in a physical attempt to rid the images from his mind however proved useless. Still, something stirred inside of him, a feeling of pleasure and shame, mingling together inside his stomach and spreading down to his groin, causing blood to rush to his penis.

He needed to be punished if his self disgust was to leave him.

He plunged his hands into the water, the feeling slowly leaving his fingers, numbness grasping its way to his writs and finally settling there.

Bringing his cupped hands to the surface minutes later caused the water to ripple and break his reflection. He watched the water slowly trickle from his hands before throwing it full force into his face.

The cold liquid from his face dropping slowly down his body caused his nipples to harden, his hands instinctively stroked their way towards them, the water running over his muscles and stopping finally at the top of his shorts

Moaning slightly and beginning to get harder inside his shorts, he decided the restriction was too much. He moved from the bathroom to his bedroom, sliding his hands reluctantly from his nipples to his shorts as he walked.

Landing gently on his bed he eased off the shorts, wet from the water and damp in the crotch from the slight pre cum he had already worked out of himself.

He threw them to the floor, and took up twisting his nipples again, a little harder than last time, one hand stroking his thigh and making its way towards his penis, which stood, waiting to be touched.

The stroking turned to light scratching, the closer Vegeta got to his throbbing manhood the deeper and harder the scratching became; he began to draw a small amount of blood and realized the pleasure was so immense he would cum right then if he wasn't careful.

His clawing fingers finally closed in on his cock, grasping it and squeezing hard he began to moan slightly, his left hand never leaving his nipple, which had began to turn red and feel immensely tender to the touch. Vegeta hoped it would bruise, becoming a temporary reminder of the inner turmoil that man had caused.

Kakarot.

Vegeta felt the familiar sense of shame, but now he knew how to control it, take pleasure from it even.

He placed his thumb over the head of his penis and began to dig the nail into the flesh; a wave of pleasure mingled with self loathing caused him to cry out. He removed his nail and took the ball of his thumb this time, rubbing it gently, then harder across the tip of himself.

His hand suddenly left his nipple, seemingly of its own accord, and firmly grasped his left ball, digging the nails in and making the young prince scream in agony. He rolled from his bed and fell to the floor, landing on his knees and elbows, face almost touching the floor he cried out for Goku.

"Look at what you've done to me, Kakarot! Look at me!" A fresh wave of tears began to fall from his face, but still he stayed in the same place, naked and hard. Frustration began to take hold however, the throbbing of his penis striking up an image that Kakarot was teasing him.

He punched the floor, cracks spreading from his fist, in a representation of his own hatred fleeing his body.

"Teasing me! Leading me on all these years, eh! I'll show you the depth of my feelings Kakarot, and how much they've been building up. Mark my words, you will feel what I do."


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't own Dbz laa**

**This chapter is mostly Vegeta thinking back on how his feelings began for Goku, don't worry, it's not boring **

**Slight humour in this chapter, Vegeta's attempt at lightening the mood.**

**It also contains the journey to confront Kakarot and how Vegeta is feeling about it. **

**Enjoy :3**

After a quick cold shower Vegeta made his way towards the bed, he had already put out his clothes for the trip to Kakarot's house, changing from his tight blue suit to casual wear so as not to intimidate him on arrival, he would more than likely assume Vegeta was there for training.

It had been years since Vegeta had shown up at Kakarot's with the intention of a fight.

Vegeta smirked as he remembered one of his more successful sessions with Kakarot, where he literally had him on the floor begging Vegeta to stop, telling him he'd had enough. Looking back on it that was the first time Vegeta's feelings had begun to stir for the idiotic saiyan. It had been lust at the time though, not that Vegeta was complaining.

Standing over Kakarot had made more than his ego larger, realizing what beating him meant Vegeta would usually power down when he was close to victory and pretty much vanish, not wanting Kakarot to notice how much winning turned him on.

The Prince had never made Kakarot beg like that, curled up, all defenceless with his clothes in tatters around his almost naked body, deep scratches and large bruises welling up all over him. He'd done that, Vegeta the Prince of the Saiyan race had caused one of the strongest fighters he had ever met to plead for, well for what? His life?

Kakarot knew that Vegeta would never attempt to take his life after all they'd been through in the past. A mere training session wouldn't bring back the urge to seriously harm him.

Unless he got off on the idea of Vegeta hurting and dominating him.

Vegeta shivered, the thought that Kakarot wasn't teasing him at all but going along with his own feelings caused a wave of passion to slide through his body. He quickly began thinking of all the things that bored or disgusted him in the world. He didn't want to get himself into the same situation as earlier, taking another cold shower wasn't an option.

"Tables, cars, clouds, no, Kakarot used to ride a cloud, I wonder if I could ride Kakaro-- Oh boy, lamps, uhm, Chi-Chi, YES, CHI-CHI." He sighed deeply, almost with relief and began running his hands through his hair. Thinking about that evil little woman had replaced his earlier thoughts of Kakarot, the man she had enslaved and forced into being her husband, but now new feelings began to arise.

Anger being one, lots of anger, and resentment. He hated that woman, he wanted nothing more than to remove her from this world, and that was a polite way of putting it.

He stood up, taking the towel from around his waist and vigorously drying himself, starting with his feet and moving upwards, paying careful attention not to touch his manhood. He was dry within 10 minutes, his hair still dripping with cold water. He shook his head then took the towel and rubbed at it furiously.

"That'll do." He said out loud, smoothing his hair upwards with his hands. Living alone with only the occasional visit from a "Z-Squad" member had taught the solitary prince that talking to ones self was marginally healthy, as long as the habit didn't persist.

He took a rucksack from under his bed and strode over to his wardrobe, he figured 2 days worth of clean clothing would be enough. He didn't plan on letting Kakarot's woman touch his things, even if she was cleaning them.

Vegeta opened his rucksack and placed his clothes, none too gently, inside. Opening his underwear drawer he took 4 pairs of boxer shorts from inside and gently pushed it closed. Placing them with the other things he stood and checked his capsule container. One house was all he had left, he didn't use things twice if he could help it. He held it up to the light, fascinated as always by the size of his temporary accommodation.

Walking towards the window he noticed the sky had cleared up since earlier this afternoon, though the ground was wet. This meant nothing to Vegeta of course, flight was a skill of the Saiyan race and he planned to utilise his own speed and skill to arrive at the Son residence within the hour.

Usually it took him around three hours to get there, but he'd stop on the way and take in the scenery, maybe having a short nap as well. He had no idea how long it would take him if he charged right on through. He always became distracted.

15 minutes later Vegeta was stood outside the door of his home, breathing in the foggy city air. A light pounding in his heart signified his nerves, soon he would be with the man he had grown so attached to, yet pushed himself far away from.

He adjusted his backpack, took two running steps and pushed off from the ground, climbing into the evening sky.

Soon, Kakarot.

Soon.


	3. Chapter 3

**Don't own Dbz, shuuu**

**It's a bit angst-y today. But it works well. No bleeding and almost death.**

**YET?!**

**I like this chapter. It's taking more of a story like turn with less smut.**

**For now.**

**Enjoy and tell me what you think please **

**Ps. It's a bit longer than usual.**

Vegeta landed softly on the floor. The idea that he'd be able to make it in less than an hour had proven impossible when the rain began again.

To avoid the downpour he had hidden in a cave. Feeling much like a wounded animal, his pride slightly battered, he eventually decided to brave the weather.

"Be a man!" He'd told himself, picking up his belongings from the floor. Putting on his back pack he rubbed his hands together, clapped them loudly and strode for the entrance to the cave with his chest pushed out.

Only, upon leaving his temporary shelter, the rain immediately ceased, he let out a loud sigh of relief and thanked his lucky stars. Night began to close in on the young prince who still felt slightly embarrassed at his distaste for rain and darkness. Knowing it would soon be dark Vegeta took to the sky once more, arriving at the Son residence an hour and a half later than he'd hoped.

Now he stood behind a tree, which was still dripping from the small storm earlier, feeling like an escaped convict.

The reason behind this strange behaviour was the fact that it was feeding time at the Son home. Hence the hiding. He'd heard a muffled voice exclaim how good the food was and lost the determination to confront Kakarot on the spot.

Vegeta wasn't hungry, mostly due to nerves. Besides, even if he was hungry enough to chew off his own leg he would much rather have done that than sit around a table with Kakarot and his woman.

"Does Kakarot have another kid besides…That older one?" He mused out loud, pouting slightly and raising one eyebrow.

"You mean Gohan, and no, I don't." A worn out voice stated simply.

Vegeta felt his face begin to burn; a small bead of sweat trickled its way down the back of his neck and disappeared into his jacket. He slowly turned the upper part of his body to face the direction the voice had come from.

Apparently this slow turn seemed to annoy the speaker, who grabbed Vegeta shoulder and spun the smaller saiyan around.

Vegeta instantly locked eyes with the person he'd travelled 4 and a half hours to meet. He wasn't ready for this, it was too soon.

Panic began to well up in his chest and spread to every part of his body, his legs gave way and everything began to swim before his eyes. The last thing he saw was Kakarot reaching out, a concerned expression on his face.

-----------------------------------------

"I don't understand what happened Chi-Chi, one minute he was fine, then he's sprawled on the floor. I suppose it must have been the journey." Vegeta heard heavy footsteps circle his body, he didn't open his eyes; just lay in the soft bed sheets, listening.

"Goku, he's your responsibility. He sure as hell didn't come here to see me, you take care of him, then when he's better ask what he wants and kick him out!" Chi-Chi's shrill voice drove through Vegetas brain like a hot metal rod.

He made a huge point of making her know she'd "disturbed him from his sleep". He clamped his hands to his ears and rolled over, whimpering in pain. This was, of course, an overly dramatic way of telling her to shut up and get out.

Chi-Chi neither wanted nor needed to stay. She'd shirked responsibility of caring for the young prince and passed it onto her husband. This, she told herself, was for the good of Gohan. She'd teach him whilst Goku was running around after Vegeta.

At least it kept him away from "training" Gohan. This way she could home school him in peace.

She turned on her heel, snorted from her nose and made a bee line for the door, slamming it behind her Vegeta thought of the old saying "out of sight, out of mind".

He felt Kakarot lower his body onto the end of the bed. He slowly opened his eyes and saw the deep, almost black depth of his eyes. He knew instantly the dim saiyan was thinking. Quickly, before he was seen awake, Vegeta closed his eyes and made a point of moving his hand from under the sheets, placing it near Kakarot's.

He waited with baited breath for Kakarot to show some form of emotion towards him. He had collapsed in front of him. Surely he'd feel some sort of connection beginning to forge, besides the one they had on the battle field.

"Vegeta?" Kakarot spoke out, little more than a whisper, his voice sounding deep and heavy in the small confines of the room. Vegeta, who was beginning to feel terribly guilty for worrying Kakarot, decided it was time to stir.

He twitched his fingers and moaned slightly, rubbing his face into the pillow which had been provided for him.

Kakarot smiled and stood up from the bed, making his way towards the door. Placing his fingers lightly on the handle he decided to turn around and check if the prince was running a fever.

Striding back over to the bed he fell softly to his knees, placing one hand on Vegeta's forehead to check his temperature. According to what his wife told him, his temperature had peaked a little.

Vegeta opened his eyes, slowly so as not to alarm Kakarot, he placed his own hand over the one which was rested on his head. Gazing intently at Kakarot, Vegeta unintentionally forced him to break out into a light sweat. A solitary bead traced its way down the left side of the tall saiyans face.

"Vegeta…What's this feeling I'm having?" The troubled saiyan asked. Confused and scared he took his hand away from Vegeta's head as gently as he could, trying not to harm his feelings.

Although he had no idea why that would bother him. All of a sudden he'd become very aware of how Vegeta was feeling. Not the exact emotion, but a lingering sensory after taste. Like grasping at smoke.

But to Vegeta it felt like Kakarot couldn't wait to stop touching him, as if he'd just realized he was contagious. A feeling settled in his stomach, like a large ball of lead had landed there and refused to shift.

Kakarot turned slowly, staring at his hand which had begun to glow a violent shade of yellow.

With his heart beating a little faster and a whole new sensation building up in his chest, he made his way to the window, ready to fly his way to a better place where things make sense.


	4. Chapter 4

**Don't own DBZ.**

**Oh guys and girls! I'm so sorry it's taken me MONTHS to get this back up!**

**I just started working, and I kinda...forgot all about it 3;;**

**But I hope the wait has made you want MOREEE **

**Please say it has..and that you don't all hate me..xD!!**

**This one is convo heavy. Vegeta is getting a little unstable under the pressure xD**

--

"Now, I know it seems...odd, Ryuseki, but I felt this strange..." Kakarot paused shortly, pursed his lips together and looked up towards the deep blue sky. He was using his thinking face. "Aura!" He resumed, then went back to gazing up at the sky thoughtfully, totally forgetting that he was in mid conversation.

He fell backwards, throwing his arms behind his head and using them as a kind of rest. This gave him such a large view, he began to feel immensely tiny in comparison to the size of the universe. His thoughts however, could not be dwarfed even by the knowledge that he was but a tiny speck on the face of the planet.

"Ryuseki, I wanted you to listen, I know you want to say something about the situation, but..." He turned towards the black dragon and flashed him the winning grin which had first caught Vegeta's heart. "I just can't take your advice again!" The dragon, which had been affectionatly named Ryuseki by Gohan some years earlier grunted its approval and nuzzled Kakarot's cheek lovingly.

Kakarot responded by taking a large pink fruit from beside his leg and placing it gently in Ryuseki's clawed talons. The dragon squealed loudly and began nibbling furiously on the snack, pausing to stare at the giver of the gift every so often.

Kakarot knew Ryuseki wasn't an idiot, he was like a dog in many respects. He always knew when Kakarot was upset, and even though he couldn't say anything Kakarot always felt better when he'd spoken to his dark, scaly friend.

Standing up and stretching his arms, Kakarot gave Ryuseki a quick farewell wave and ran towards the edge of the cliff he always came to when visiting his wildlife friends. Jumping over the edge he free fell for a good few feet before tapping into the power of flight and shooting off into the mid spring sun.

--

"Time to think is good, maybe that's what he's doing. Then again, what would he be thinking of? All he did was touch my head, then he practically jumped out of his skin and left. What if he thought I was contagious?" Vegeta was musing, he'd lost count of the amount of times the paranoia had wormed its way into his concious thoughts and made him crazy with worry. To top it all off Kakarot had been gone for a whole day.

Vegeta forced the thoughts to the back of his head and picked up a book from the bedside table. Who'd left it there he didn't know. As he was leafing through the pages he heard a large thud, followed by several lighter, but still imposing, ones.

"MOM, LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Came a small, but powerful voice. Several more bangs followed and then a huge crash as the door to the spare room where Vegeta was resting buckled under the weight of a powerful kick.

"Oh, excuse me, you haven't seen my HUSBAND ANYWHERE, HAVE YOU?!" Shrieked Chi-Chi, stomping her way over to Vegeta who was propped up on several pillows, mindlessly leafing through the light novel.

"Oh, sorry? I wasn't paying attention..." Vegeta glanced over Chi-Chi, with an almost surprised look on his face. Placing the book on his lap and interlocking all of his fingers he waited for another torrent of abuse. When neither Chi-Chi nor the boy spoke he took it upon himself to offer his assistance.

"How can I be of service, woman? Only, it seems you need me right now. Although the way you address royalty could use some improving I suppose I could let you off." He stared at her with cold eyes, silently willing her to come at him, claws and all, so he could blast her body to pieces and run with Kakarot into the sunset.

"I'm sorry Vegeta--"

"Ahem, Prince Vegeta, woman."

"P-prince...Vegeta"

Oh god, how he was enjoying this.

"Well woman, how may I be of help to you and your plight?" He cracked his fingers and slid them slowly from their locked position.

"My...prince?" she asked questioningly, and when Vegeta nodded she continued. Through gritted teeth she proceeded to ask him for help in locating her husband, who had been gone, by her calculations, for 27 hours and 46 minutes.

"I'll help you find your provider, but why not just let him come home of his own free will?"

"Well, My..Prince, it's fish night, and he'd be home by now with one of the giant creatures, ready for me to cook it--"

"Alright, I'll look for him, wench."

Vegeta could almost swear that he'd heard one of her teeth crack, or at least a blood vessel bursting.

He was enjoying this so much he almost forgot what she was asking of him, she wanted him to find Kakarot.

He swung his legs from under the covers of the bed and placed them on the floor. Everything spun slightly, but it was his own fault. The determination to see Kakarot had caused a fever, sleeping in a cave...That has "FEVER!" written all over it!

"I'll set off now, but send your boy out to catch a fish. He has fine, powerful saiyan blood running through his veins, it should be nothing for him." He glanced at Gohan, who stared back at him with his beautiful brown eyes.

_Woah woah, he's 12. _

_But he looks so much like Kakarot, it's unsightly!_

"Thank you Vegeta!" Cried Gohan, who rushed off to put on his purple sparring suit.

"Why is he so happy? It's like he hasn't left the house in a week."

"Well, it's actually been 2, I've been making him-- I mean, studying with him."

"You've been what?! Forcing a boy of 12 to study when he should be out, fighting and enjoying himself?! It's the start of spring, and you've got him couped up in the house, READING?!" He advanced towards her, arms outstretched, ready to clamp his hands around her throat when Gohan came rushing in.

"Hey! What do you-- What's going on here?" He was 12, he wasn't stupid. But Vegeta was so good at lying he forced all doubts from Gohans mind. Wrapping his arms around Chi-Chi's shoulders he whispered, loud enough for the boy to hear, that they would find Kakarot.

"Don't worry Chi-Chi. He'll be fine. He's a saiyan, we don't go down so easily." He stared into her eyes, the coldness of his own penetrating the fear in hers. She crumpled, literally, under his gaze, falling to the floor and wrapping her shall around her head she began to whimper, Vegeta took Gohan by his hand and dragged him to the window.

"Dinner time, kid."


End file.
